Monday, February 28, 2011

March Madness.

Well, here goes another month.
My March goals:
1. Force life to slow down a bit, so things become a little less stressful and a little more enjoyable.
2. Get in a GOOD routine. I have been supposed to be in one for two months now, but I have been thrown so many curves that I haven't stuck to the plan ONCE.
3. No eating out. Not once in the entire month.
4. Start to build a photo-portfolio, and create a portfolio blog.
5. Clean up/ catch up my scrap booking.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

My mom flew back to Cleveland this morning :/
Back to reality! HAHAHA
We had a great visit, and my kids had the best time. February just FLEW by having her here, so that is 28 more days to scratch of my calendar until life feels complete again.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Bali Hai





After a couple months, finally a reason to get out of the sweatpants! HAHAHA
Thanks to my girl Courtney (who babysat for me) me and Mom went of a fancy dinner date. Not just dinner, but dinner with a view of the sunset, water, and downtown San Diego. Good times.

Wild Animal Park take 43

This time we were accompanied by Nana, Woody, and of coure Bill.






Monday, February 21, 2011

"Mom, do you see how funny I am!?"

Ellie's little ponttail has slowly migrated from the top of her head, to the back- I am convinced that every little step of the way, she gets more beautiful. ***proud mama***

Carter's first homework assignment. A picture of his "best friend ever," Nicki.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Bring that beat back to me again
Take me back, take me back, can't catch me, can't catch me
Bring that beat back to me again
Take me back, take me back, can't catch me, can't catch me
Ride my bike down the old dirt hill
First time without my trainin' wheels
First time I kissed you I lost my legs
Bring that beat back to me again
Scream and shout out loud our innocence
And days when all we did would never end
Bring that beat back to me again
Take me back, take me back, can't catch me, can't catch me
Bring that beat back to me again
Take me back, take me back, can't catch me, can't catch me
Smokin' under the railroad bridge
I used to ride my bike down that old dirt hill
The first time I kissed you I lost my legs
Bring that beat back to me again
Scream and shout out loud our innocence
Days when all we did would never end
Screamin' down that old dirt hill
Bring that beat back to me again
[But she'd snow] when it gets hard
That's when the days I remember seem so far away
When I was just a kid that's what I miss
Yeah, I was just a kid that's what I miss
Oh, take me back, take me back to that beat again
Smokin' under the railroad bridge
Bring that beat back to me again
Bring that beat back to me again
Bring that beat back to me again
First time all we, good good friends
Bring that beat back to me again
Bring that beat back to me again
Bring that beat back to me again
Bring that beat back to me again
Bring that beat back to me again
Bring that beat back to me again

Friday, February 18, 2011

"It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over." - The Zahir

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A friend of mine asked me recently what I learned from looking at the world through my childrens eyes.
I have thought about that for a while and this is what I have come up with.

Carter has taught me to use a little imagination, to go with the flow, and the power of just saying, "Hi Friend."
Ellie has taught me what persistence really is. Ellie will never give up. She will climb to the highest point acheiveable, and when she gets there she will first do a dance, then she will set her eye on a new prize.


Today Carter found this little peice of something. Like a crumb. He called it his Speck, and said his friends were on it, and played with it for two hours.
We ended up turning on Horton-
So entertaining.

Total Confidance Booster

Lately there has been a lot of opportunity for me to practice taking pics for other people.
I have a ton of work to do, but I had a really good experience last week taking pics of the most beautiful twin baby girls.
(I don't know the family that well, so I am not posting them.)
I have to say, I was SO PROUD of how they came out, and it is really pushing me in the direction of trying to make a career out of this.
I need more practice, but-
Anyways, a few days later this was my text,

"So I ordered prints from Walgreens and the lady thinks they are professional! I
have to sign a release form stating that I have rights..."

I still can't wipe the smile off of my face!

You can take the Billy out of the Hills...


Tree Hugger!

Mud Hippy!

Pictires from Korea

I miss his face!

A friend of mine made me hip to this blog. I like what I have read, so if you are interested head over to
I lifted this post about deployment, and living as a milspouse. I just couldn't say it better myself.

As I forced my hands to unfurl from his neck, feeling the familiar sting in my
nose as tears pushed against my will, the words rattled and echoed in my brain.
“Not again.”

I watched him walk away–that uniform, identifiable gait—and
my heart bent and splintered as the reality of a third deployment began to
shower over me.

I picked up the phone, dialing the numbers my numb
fingers always meander toward, and sat in silence while she tried to ease my
pain. “I can’t imagine…He will be home….I’m here.”

And then she said six
words that shot through my ears, penetrated my brain, and stiffened my spine:
“You know how to do this.”

She was right. I do know how to do this. I
intimately know the all-too familiar lump in my throat. The year of being both
father and mother, making the best of a situation. I know exactly how one year
feels as I X each day off my calendar. And I know how to ensure that while our
lives are on hold, we still live.

The truth is I know a lot:

The thought of being alone for a year doesn’t bother me. The fear of being alone
for a lifetime—does.
» Flat rate boxes can hold twenty whoopee cushions,
four kindergarten projects, and five perfume-scented letters.
» Technology
can be a double-edged sword—one side delivering his face; the other a brutal
live-action feed of explosions and camouflaged body parts.
» Murphy’s Law is
a constant companion. The moment he walks out the door, anything that can break,
collapse, bleed, or explode–will .
» Five hours of uninterrupted sleep is a
gift from the deployment gods
» Holidays are hard, but manageable.
Deployments come and go, but sand from his boots never leaves.
» Nothing can
replace a handwritten letter. Through those beautifully folded pages, he is
holding my hand again.
» When the National Anthem is played, I know
goosebumps will rise on my arms, and a lump will fill my throat.
» The
silence in communication following a war zone attack is agonizing.
Laughter is a powerful ally.
» Each deployment offers two options: grow or
regress. This is a choice.
» Cereal is always a dinner option.
» Videos
of lost teeth, ballerina recitals, and preschool graduations can be emailed to
Iraq nearly instantly.
» Five powers of attorney and the intimate details of
his will are needed to navigate a deployment.
» White out blizzards can
actually bury a truck in five minutes.
» Rosie the Riveter was right: We can
do it.
» Children cling to hope and the promise of tomorrow.
» Living in
each moment together is possible when facing the fear that it could be your
» Welcome home kisses are sweeter than the finest chocolate.
Anger will grip me and depression can hold me, but another military spouse will
steady me.
» A six-year-old child can feel the absence of her father so
deeply that she can suffer from clinical depression.
» A military spouse
will often hold her/his tongue, silencing a story, for fear of sounding
» The sound of a bugle can make my heart swell with pride or
collapse in sorrow.
» Duct tape and a monkey wrench can fix nearly anything.
» Despite the protestors and those who tell me I “knew” what I was getting
into, I know there are countless American citizens who will go above and beyond
to show they support us.
There are many things I know.

I know how to
change the brakes on my truck, rappel from the side of a cliff, shoot a
double-barreled shotgun, balance a checkbook, earn my keep, and kiss a child
enough to feel like two.

But there are still so many things I don’t

» I don’t know how to start my heart again when I see a death
notification car on my street.
» When that knock echoes on the door of my
neighbor, I don’t know how to forgive myself when I am relieved.
» I don’t
know how to hug him enough to last a lifetime, or kiss him just so in order to
feel satisfied—should our reunion be at the foot of a pine box.
» I’m not
willing to learn how to pretend he doesn’t exist, to keep him out of our life
while it goes on without him, or to build a wall so high he has no way to scale
» I don’t know how to stop his panic attacks, and I have no idea how to
make my nightmares of rampant bombs and lifeless limbs disappear.
» I don’t
know how to adjust to his presence in my house when our floor rarely feels the
weight of his boots.
» I don’t know how to tell his small children that,
yes, he leaves them all the time. But because he loves them so deeply, he is
willing to die to keep them free.
» I can’t understand those who would
question my desire to stay with him, or how I can peacefully sleep beside a
» I am amazed and confounded that despite all he has seen, he
still has the courage to laugh.
» I don’t’ know how to give up on my family.
But, most importantly:

I have no clue how to still my pounding heart
when he finally walks through our door again, I don’t know how to pull my hands
from his sand-stained neck and say goodbye, and I don’t know how to ever walk
away from a man who stands while many choose to sit.

Carter's First Day Of School

He loved it. No doubt. But the sweetest was in the morning when he said, "Mama, can Sissy come with me?" Explained that it is for big kids, and right before we walked out the door he came back and said, "Nana, take care of my Sissy while I am gone!" ***melts***

Valentine 2011

Pancakes and Watermelon

Balboa and Balloons.

So meet my number three, AKA the thorn in my side. This was my brilliant idea for fun birthday pics. But... let me tell you my story.
I buy this TEN DOLLAR balloon and head to Balboa Park to take (what in my head would be) the most awesome pics ever.
I open the door- make sure I grab that string so it doesn't fly off, and the string comes untied from the balloon.
Carter: "Mama, why is my balloon leaving me?!"
No worries, still a beautiful day to play and take random pics.
The worst part of the day is not one pic came out the way I hoped- part of learning I guess.
The funniest part of the day is when I was throwing Carter in the air.
Picture me- giggling, playing, in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. I was literally thinking as I was throwing him how I wish I could throw him and take a pic at the same time because the sun was shining from around his head and making this glow, yadda, yadda- having a moment.
Carter grabs my shirt on his way up.
And I flash FULL ON FLASH the entire city of San Diego. Well, maybe not the entire city, but at least most of it.

February 13th 2011 8:40am

My baby boy turned 3! Things were super hectic with Ellie being sick, so the only planning I did was order the cake (of course, he was asking for a Buzz and Woody cake for months!)

So here is how our day went:
First thing in the morning, Carter woke up to a phone call from Daddy.
He opened his "Special Present From The Boat" and was SO STOKED!


Good for the morale of both my boys. :)
Ellie's fever was down, so we decided to head to ChuckECheese (9am, before the crowd.)
They both seemed to enjoy.
Then we headed to Corvette Diner. So much fun for Carter!

The servers sang to him, and I requested the Beatles "It's Your Birthday" for him. You should have seen your face when he heard the DJ say, "This one goes out to Carter!"
We made it home before nap time (THANK GOODNESS!) Ellie was ready for rest.

We had an impromptu "party" (two of my girlfriends came over, no kids= no germs.)
My kids are so lucky to have so much. Friends and family sent gifts- and it was RAINING TOY STORY in my house. (Just the way my kids like it.)



Carter even let me do what I do, and snap a few pics:
067 - Copy

I made a decision about a year ago that every obstacle I come across will be used a tool to grow.
Home port change was an "adventure."
Finishing school with two little ones and a absent spouse was an accomplishment.
Deployment will bring my family closer.

Happiness IS a choice, right?
That being said this year has already been FULL of ups and downs AND STRESS.

Poor baby girl ended up in the hospital AGAIN this weekend 105 fever, double ear infection, her fourth visit to the ER this year, 8th round of antibiotics in 7months. I just feel so miserable and worried for her.

What have I learned?

First, I need to work on PATIENCE.
Second, I need to pray for RESILIENCY.
Third, I am one tough B****.

Playing catch up.

Let the blogfest begin.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

So, we knew this day would come...

Today I hear Carter scream from the other room, followed by "NO WISSSSSS"
and Carter crying...

Me: What's going on?
Carter (while running from Ellie): Ladybug pushed me over!!!!

hahahahahahaha OMG She was chasing his ass down!!!!!

He is such a good boy for not doing it back! ***chuckles to self, high fives Ellie***

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains.

Sent from my iPhone

Friday, February 4, 2011

Me: Carter, tell Courtney about the gorillas at the Wild Animal Park.
Carter: He gave me the eye-poop. (Stankeye)

-totally random, I know. But I think I found the "runners high" and literally smiled while I was running.
  • Picked up a sandwich for me and my girlie- ate lunch at her house. (She watched my kiddies for me.)
  • Drove to the hospital and picked up my Mel, and my newest little friend Brooke.
  • Picked them up lunch and dropped them back at home
  • Went and picked up my monkeys.
  • I had an appointment for an oil change/tire rotation- (took THREE HOURS)
  • During the appointment I walked to an indoor play area (That is where the pic was taken.) We had lunch and played.
  • Arrive home 6:30 pm.
  • Dinner, and the kids have been OUT COLD since 7 :)
That is what this whole week has been like- crazy busy, satisfying, healthy, good attitude, helping others, enjoying my time.
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." -Albert Einstein