Like red on a rose When your lips first smiled at me I was captured instantly To each his own
Like blue in the sky The gaze of your willing eyes Touched something deep inside The truth be known
That I love you like all little children love pennies And I love you cause I know that I can't do anything wrong You're where I belong Like red on a rose
And I love you like all little children love pennies And I love you like good times of which I've known many And I love you cause I know you give me a heart of my own You make my blood flow Like red on a rose
You don't know but i'm the girl who cries every night wondering when his next return will be. I'm the girl who drags herself out of bed every morning so that he will be proud of me when he comes home. I'm the girl who lies in bed longing for him to be lying next to me. I'm the girl who sits queitly during class because all I can think about is that next moment when he will be safely in my arms again. You don't know but i'm the girl with a million things to say but not one will come out without the thought of him. I'm the girl who checks my cell phone every five seconds to make sure I haven't missed his call or a text message. I'm the girl who stops and stares and wishes for him to return soon each and every time another man in uniform walks by. What you dont know is that I know love on an entirely different level from most. I know the love that spans time and space. The love that most people are constantly searchiong for. I'm one of the girls who waits months for a single kiss, a kiss that will make the months apart worth every second. A kiss where everything in the world stops and for what seems like eternity, you can see into the person's soul and know that without them, life is not worth living. You tell me i'm too young to be "so in love" I know that love has no age limit. You tell me I don't even understand what love is, I tell you, I know more love in one homecoming than most know in a lifetime. You don't know that every time he leaves a part of me goes with him and part of him stays with me. You tell me that people change and I tell you true love will always remain the same. You tell me i'm too young to be in a serious relationship, I tell you that i'm too in love to not be. You tell me you know how I feel and that you understand what i'm going through, you have no idea. What you don't realize is that I understand the true meaning of not only love but longing and anticipation. You don't see but i'm one of the few who gets goose bumps as my hearts fills with pride every time the National Anthem is playing. I'm one of the girls who will stand tall and stay strong on the outside but be dying on the inside. I'm one of the girls who will make friends with complete strangers for only they can even begin to understand what I am going through. You don't understand that I picture his face everywhere I go and that he is with me in everything that I do. You think I don't cry anymore, that I have gotten over it, but what you don't know is that I just hide it better. You don't know the feeling the first time you hear the word deployment or the feeling of his hand as it slides out of yours for what could be the last time. You don't know what that last hug or kiss means and how important that good-bye truly is. I'm the girl you see standing alone in the airport watching quietly out the window with tears rolling down my cheeks. I'm the girl you see walking by with a disheartened face staring silently at the ground. What you don;t know is that I know true love and that no matter what obstacles we have to face, our love will live forever. You tell me you support the the men in uniform I tell you i'm in love with one. I'm one of the silent but outgoing, weak but strong, scared but grateful. What you don't see is that without me he is nothing and without him I am nothing. I'm one of those girls. the girl who stands tall behind her soldier, behind her hero, stands strong behind her man, watching silently as he serves and defends our country. Ramble Ramble Ramble...
The whole "That Girl" thing reminded me of something. Years ago, before me and Chris were anything more than friends, we were supposed to join the Navy together. I of course, didn't get in, and Chris signed the papers without me. So we got in a big fight, yadda yadda yadda, history.
Anyways, me and my friend were at a restaurant discussing what would come of me and Chris. Jon: If you want to be with him, then be with him, you know he wants to. Me: yeah, but now I am going to be "that girl." Jon: who is "that girl." Me: sitting around waiting for his deployment to be over for my life to start. selfishly bitching about how hard I have it...
Fast forward three or four years- Chris has been gone more this year than he has been home, and then I get this letter. I am not "that girl." My life is here and I am living it. I am happy, supportive, and strong. I miss my husband, but if loving him from a distance is what I have, then it is what I have. I may complain sometimes, but I don't feel sorry for myself. At. All.
Carter made a little girlfriend at the park today. She was almost a year older than him, but was the same size. It was funny to see, because she treated him very much like a baby, very sweetly leading him around and showing him how to do things, and "catching" him, as he came down the slide. This was Carter's dream come true.
Her grandmother allowed me to snap pics, as evidence that even good boy needs a girl to guide the way. :)
I bet if you knew me when I was 22 you would have never been able to picture me holding my two year old's hand and cheering him on while he shits in the toilet, and simultaneously breastfeeding my daughter. Me neither- but I like myself better this way. I am going to make a list of things I would have never thought I could/would do: That's number 1 Number 2: Read every Dr. Suess book I have heard of before 7am, while *not* under the influence of LSD.
We took Aunt Deb to the WAP (of course.) They had early hours today. -And it is a damn good thing because it has be 100 degrees for the past four days, I wonder if that is the norm? Anyways, we spend three hours there. Lovely.
Today at the park a guy asks Carter, "what are you doing, playing in the sand?" Carter answers, "no, I playing in Sand Diego." Hahaha He must have heard me talk about San Diego. At the zoo this weekend he kept talking about being at Diego's zoo. I was thinking, where did he get the ideas that this is Diego.'s zoo, just because there are animals? Now I get it.
Saturday was a first experience with the early hours for members at the zoo. I planned on going all along, but then came Saturday morning, and leaving the house by 0730 to tour a giant, mountainous zoo by myself with two babies seemed..ugh. But I decided I paid for the membership, I should explore the perks.
(trying to hide his smile)
HOLY AWESOME! I am so glad I went. Walking through the zoo where you are literally the only person in sight at times is THE COOLEST. Carter especially had a lot of fun, but Sis is starting to get observant, and since there wasn't a ton of hussle and bussle, I was able to get her out and show her things she would usually miss.
The early hours allow for you to meet with a zookeeper, and Saturday's feature was the Elephant Odyssey.
We were so close I couldn't believe. The zookeeper talked and fed the animals, and it was right up my "Animal Rescuer's" alley.
He is still talking about this:
"Elephant scratch head with log from bush." HAHAHA
It was so empty that Carter had the exploration area to himself, and he got to venture a bit.
(Walking through Elephant Collars)
(Showing Sissy some Xrays)
But, my favorite part was seeing the Pandas. Every time we have been there, we never get a chance to walk through the Panda exhibit.
The reason we never got to see the pandas, is because they have to be a little secluded, and require silence as you walk through. With two kids and a line to get in and see them (this is the only exhibit at SD Zoo that there is a line for) I never tried to venture in. But they are beautiful and rare. Here is a cool link to the zoo where you can see a live cam of what the Panda's are doing, read about them, and donate if you like. http://www.sandiegozoo.org/pandacam/
We will be going to every early hour the zoo offers from now on! I am so glad we went. If for nothing else- an excuse to put Ellie in her new sunglasses!
USS Carl Vinson (CVN 70)- 200,000th trap just occured on CARL VINSON's flight deck. Time was 1727 pacific standard. Congratulations to all the Sailors who made it happen, present and past. Here's what Captain Lindsey said moments after. "We just had a big milestone on the flight deck. 200, 000th trap. That's about ten traps a day, every day for 25 straight years. Congratulations to all the follks on the flight deck and below decks."