So I am rollerblading along, pushing the stroller and thinking about when I bought these roller blades...
I bought them probably nine years ago. I was living in Surfside. I was a party machine, which is a totally different kind of machine than I am currently. ;) I was hanging out with my best childhood friend Jody, Travis, and the Cross boys- every single day. It would be the same thing everyday, and it never got old to us. Sleep all day, drink all night.
When the nice summer nights rolled around we would sit outside on one of our front porches, and without a doubt one of them would get out the skateboards. Then there was me...I couldn't skateboard. Finally we decided to go buy a pair of roller blades, because I was too much of a tomboy to sit "delicately" on the sideline.
Me and Sean went to the store together, because he "knew what he was buying" and yet somehow we ended up with a pair of speed skates. I remember thinking that I barely pushed and I was going too fast for my comfort. Needless to say- I was not a champion skater (nor will I ever be) and I couldn't do tricks with everyone else, in fact I was so bad I was afraid to skate in the daylight because Surfside is a small neighborhood, and inevitably a car would drive by with people that I knew, and they would see me making an ass of myself. No, no, no I was way too cool for that.
So, the only time the skates ever came out was midnight or later, usually after a couple of beers because then I wasn't afraid to fall and get hurt, you know- "beer balls." And I could be sure that no one would see me. It was usually me and Sean rolling through Surfside until our legs couldn't take anymore.
Ahhh, the good ol' days. (Right?)
Four years later the skates ended up in Euclid with me. I figure I was about nineteen/twenty. That is when Chris came into my life. I mean really- we were friends middle school. And for those of you who know us, know we didn't really date. We "hung out." We were "just friends," right up until I ran off to Chicago and married him. But, he used to come to the Euclid house, my bedroom was in the basement, and I figure that was the beginning of "us." And I would occasionally get out the skates. They just repaved the street so it was smooth for an armature like me. I would not leave 264th, but I would roll up on down- usually this time by myself- but still at night. Partially because I was still afraid of looking like an asshole, but mostly because I was no longer invincible, and I new I shouldn't skate in traffic. <--currently laughing at myself.
Back to Eastlake, my very "own" apartment. I lived there for just over a year. I was twenty-one and twenty-two. But somehow I never seemed to be alone there. I hated to go to bed in an empty apartment, so even if Chris and I weren't hanging out that day I would call him at any given time and tell him that I was "bored." Looking back it was a shame that we both paid for rent in our own apartments, he was NEVER at his. All he did was shower there. I guess I could have let him use mine. The bigger shame was that I actually made Chris share a full sized bed with me and my 100lb doberman. I don't know how any of us slept. And occasionally I would get out the skates again. Me and Kago this time. We would go to the metro parks and I would skate, he would pull. I guess at this point I wasn't so afraid of looking silly, because you can only imagine how those walks worked out for us.
And then all of the sudden, Virginia. The skates are out again and I am pushing my baby. I have a wedding ring on my finger, I don't feel the least bit venerable and don't care who sees me. I still have to avoid traffic, not because I am afraid of hurting myself, but rather my son.
So as I was skating the other day I couldn't help but think of all the changes.- How when I bought those skates at seventeen, marriage, babies, and Virginia seemed so far away. This life was the last thing I was thinking about. I thought I was happy then but I had no clue.
I came a long way, and still have a long way to go in the steps to becoming the adult, mother, and wife that I want to be, but I am pretty proud of my progress. I look back and I don't think I was always the nicest person. For the most part yes, but I sure had a nasty streak that I think usually came out on people who least deserved it. So, if that applies to you I am sorry. I spent a lot of time being young and wrong, and if it any consolation I learned from it.